The 354 questions follow a numbered sequence across six rooms. Keep the deck upside down (numbers visible, questions face-down) and work through them one by one.
You must answer each question honestly before proceeding. Don’t skip. Try not to rush. The simpler questions may take longer to answer.
HEADS UP
Least interested in your periphery, the questions will shoot for your core.
It’s mostly a game quite demanding on your faculty of reflection; strongly depending on your ability to see 'what is what' as it is, free from all prejudices, fears, insecurities or dependencies. It’s a game demanding your ability to be straightforward, and honest with yourself.
That is, it’s mostly a game for the one earnest enough to seek truth, and daring enough to hear it.
There is no mollycoddling in the cards, no tapdancing around truth.
• Set aside 2-4 hours for your first session (you can pause and return)
• Choose a quiet, private space free from distractions
• Have pen and paper ready for insights
• Prepare for emotional intensity - this isn't casual entertainment – it may involve shifts in your worldview
Remember: This game should never be used to judge, dominate, or weaponize insights against others.
Certain cards will direct you to The White Cards - a special deck containing three types of experiences:
The Tough Kiss - Direct, uncompromising, often uncomfortable insights. Sting but heal.
Holding Hands - Supportive guidance through difficulty. Revealing insights. ‘Aha!’ minus the sting.
The Mirror - Moments for deep reflection. Reflections that uplift.
When directed to White Cards, draw one and fully engage with whatever experience emerges before returning to the main sequence.
TOUGH LOVE® - The most devastating game you will pick up. Give up. And pick up again.
Purpose: Individual exploration and complete worldview examination
Duration: 2-6 hours (may need multiple sessions)
Process:
• Answer each question out loud or write responses
• Don't censor or soften your answers
• Notice resistance - it often points to important truths
• Take breaks when overwhelmed
Integration: You may want to keep a journal for insights, your creative expressions and emotional outpourings, as well as for planning how to act on revelations.
TOUGH LOVE® - The most uncomfortable game you will ever be grateful for
Part of this game is designed with couples in mind – whether established or dating – aiming to identify areas of incompatibility in great detail and across diverse aspects of a relationship.
If you choose to play with a partner, please note that this may reveal, peel off multiple layers, in one go – both yours and your partner's. This could be intense, overwhelming, and can go in directions you were not prepared for.
Please be liberal with patience, understanding, and kindness while limiting judgment (both for yourself and others) – though not at the cost of your critical thinking.
Purpose: Explore authentic compatibility beyond cultural conditioning
Setup: Both partners answer each question before discussing
Organization Options:
• Agreements/Disagreements: Keep matching answers on one side, unmatching on the other
• Dealmakers/Dealbreakers: Organize responses by relationship impact
• Curiosity Piles: Questions that spark deeper exploration
However, please be advised, many of these questions won’t offer a simple this or that. Expect complexity, nuance, and uncomfortable revelations.
Process:
1. Both answer silently first
2. Share responses without immediate judgment
3. Explore differences with curiosity, not defensiveness
4. Notice patterns of compatibility/incompatibility
5. Discuss how to bridge gaps or accept differences
Integration: Plan specific changes based on insights discovered together.
Do not use this game to attack, judge, or "expose" your partner. If you find yourself feeling superior based on responses, you're missing the point entirely.
TOUGH LOVE® - The game to make you quit playing games
WHAT MATTERS:
Mutual trust — you've chosen to be vulnerable with these specific people
Shared commitment — everyone understands this isn't entertainment or casual conversation
Individual readiness — each person has done enough personal work to handle their own reactions
Respect for boundaries — understanding that anyone can pass, pause, or step back at any time
Confidentiality agreement — what's shared in the circle stays in the circle
BEFORE YOU BEGIN: THE HONEST ASSESSMENT
Ask yourselves individually:
Am I genuinely ready to examine my patterns without defensiveness?
Can I handle hearing truths about myself that might be uncomfortable?
Am I willing to witness others' truths without judgment or advice-giving?
Do I trust this group with my authentic responses?
Ask yourselves as a group:
Have we established real trust, or are we still performing for each other?
Can we hold space for difficult emotions without rushing to fix or comfort?
Are we all equally committed to depth over surface conversation?
Do we have someone who can guide the process (not professionally, but with wisdom and groundedness)?
ESSENTIAL GROUP AGREEMENTS
Before the first card is drawn, agree on:
Confidentiality: Nothing shared leaves this circle. No sharing others' revelations, even with partners or family not present.
Right to Pass: Anyone can pass on any question, any time, without explanation or pressure.
No Advice: We witness. We don't fix, solve, or counsel each other unless explicitly asked.
No Judgment: Responses are received without critique, analysis, or comparison.
Pace Respect: Anyone can call for a pause. Anyone can suggest stopping for the session.
Emotional Responsibility: Each person is responsible for their own reactions and self-care.
THE GUIDE
This game doesn't require professional facilitation. But you may want to pick up an elder (irrespective of age) from your tribe for this job. Every group needs someone to hold the container - not a professional facilitator, but someone who can:
Keep track of the flow and timing
Sense when the group needs a pause
Hold steady presence when emotions arise
Remind the group of agreements if needed
Know when to suggest ending a session
This person should be:
The most emotionally grounded member of the group
Someone others naturally turn to for wisdom
Able to stay centered when others are activated
Comfortable with silence and difficult emotions
WHEN TO PAUSE OR STOP
Pause when:
Anyone seems overwhelmed or disconnected
The energy becomes performative rather than authentic
Group dynamics shift toward advice-giving or analysis
Someone needs time to process—emotionally or intellectually—what's emerged
Consider stopping for the session when:
Someone is in genuine distress
The group feels overwhelmed with what's been revealed
Energy drops significantly
Anyone requests it
CRISIS SUPPORT
If someone becomes deeply distressed:
Don't try to therapy them or rush to comfort
Ask what they need: space, presence, or to end the session
Have local crisis resources available if needed
Remember: intense emotion isn't necessarily crisis
Trust that:
Most people know their own limits
Tears and strong feelings are often healthy responses
The group's presence is usually sufficient support
Ask for professional help if truly needed
INTEGRATION AFTER SESSIONS
In the days following:
Give each other space to process privately
Resist the urge to check in or debrief extensively
Let the questions continue working in their own time
Trust the process more than your need to understand it
WHO THIS ISN'T FOR
Groups should not play if:
Anyone is currently in acute mental health crisis
There's unresolved conflict or tension between participants
Anyone is under the influence of substances
The motivation is curiosity rather than genuine readiness for truth
Anyone feels pressured to participate
What if I don't want to answer a question?
Pass. Always. No explanation needed. No pressure applied. Your boundaries are more important than any question.
Answering the question is not the thing here in any case. The thing here is honoring the existence of the question knocking at our door since long.
A good number of questions are already answered in other sections on the website. For some specific ones, please see the section below.
Questions About the Questions
Can I shuffle the cards? Can this be played picking up random cards?
The questions are in a sequence, each one holding the context for the next, and previous.
Collectively, thus, emerges a bigger picture.
Taste the fragments if you must.
Just be careful. The picture will break. Meaning will scatter.
Is this therapy?
No. This is not therapy, though it may be therapeutic.
This is not treatment for mental health conditions. This is a treatment for what gives mental health conditions.
Obligatory warning: If you're in crisis or dealing with serious psychological issues, please seek appropriate professional support.
Who is this for?
This game is specifically for transformation-ready individuals. Not everyone. Not the population seeking entertainment or casual self-improvement. This works deeper. Please be prepared for it.
Who is this NOT for?
Those seeking comfort or easy answers
Those unwilling to question core life assumptions, and might get triggered by such questions
Those looking for surface-level self-help or quick fixes
Those looking for entertainment or light conversation
People who aren't ready to examine their own patterns without defensiveness
Anyone currently in acute mental health crisis
Can I use the questions as prompts?
Yes. You can.
Most writing prompts ask 'What if?' These questions ask 'What is?' They're not designed to spark imagination but to reveal what you've been avoiding seeing. When you answer them truthfully, your authentic voice naturally emerges - not because you're trying to be creative, but because truth itself is creative.
The game doesn't distinguish between transformation and authentic expression. Your creativity will emerge as a byproduct of honest engagement, not as a separate goal.
Can couples play without a facilitator?
Yes. Couples who have established trust and communication skills can navigate this territory together. See our Couples Guidelines for agreements and safety protocols.
Can groups play without professional facilitation?
Absolutely. This game doesn't require professional facilitation - it requires people willing to stop pretending. Pick an elder from your tribe (irrespective of age) to guide the process. See our Group Guidelines for how to create a safe container.
How long does it take to complete?
There is no "completion." This isn't a board game with a finish line. Some people spend months with a single room. Others move through quickly and return later. The questions will work on you long after you've encountered them.
A single session might involve 10-20 questions over 1-3 hours, depending on the depth of engagement.
Why Six Rooms?
Because they are so.
What are White Cards?
White Cards are special interventions that appear throughout the deck:
The Tough Kiss: Confrontations with comfortable illusions
Holding Hands: Invitations to dive deeper with support
The Mirror: Reflections to reflect what may have been hidden from you
Are the questions difficult or triggering?
The questions come from ordinary life - your usual patterns, relationship dynamics, work choices, spiritual practices. They're not clinically intense or designed to excavate trauma.
The "difficulty" comes from our collective habit of avoiding these obvious – written on the wall - truths, not from psychological complexity. That said, truth-telling can bring up strong emotions.
What if I don't want to answer a question?
Pass. Always. No explanation needed. No pressure applied. Your boundaries are more important than any question.
Answering the question is not the thing here in any case. The thing here is honoring the existence of the question knocking at our door since long.
What if strong emotions come up?
Embrace them. Strong emotions are often healthy responses to truth-telling. The game includes guidance for holding emotional intensity safely. However, if you're consistently overwhelmed, consider pausing and seeking additional support.
Is this connected to any particular religion or belief system?
No. While the game includes questions about spirituality and meaning-making, it's not aligned with any specific doctrine. It's designed for people of various spiritual backgrounds or none at all.
How is this different from other personal development tools?
That’s the answer we want to hear from you. Please compare and tell us.
What if my community isn't ready for this depth?
Start with people who are. Even one other person willing to engage authentically can create profound transformation. Communities of depth attract each other.
Can I facilitate this professionally?
The game doesn't require professional facilitation, but if you're already working as a therapist, coach, or group facilitator, you can incorporate this into your practice. See our Facilitator Instructions for additional guidance.
Is there a digital version?
This is designed as a physical card game to encourage presence and minimize digital distractions. The tactile experience of drawing cards and the absence of screens supports deeper engagement. However, PDFs of Room 1 & 2 may be distributed freely.
If your question is not here, it may be in the deck.